Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
its not stalking. its research.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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