Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
