Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
