He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
