genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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