3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
