Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
