PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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