these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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