so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
