Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
