I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize