I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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