***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
