I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
