let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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