He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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