After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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