You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
