He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
