never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
