ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
