Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
