Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
