I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
