Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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