lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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