Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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