He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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