A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
