i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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