I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
