Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
