i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
