a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
