All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
