i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
