Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
