I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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