Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
