wanna go halves on a baby?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
