I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
