What a fucking waste of an outfit
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
