literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
