Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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