i don't like sucking hair
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
