I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize