You're so nebulous sometimes
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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