I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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