Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
