i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
